Living Well in Limbo
Living in uncertainty might stop you from being present in the moment, but if circumstances are out of your control, a shift in mindset can still help you seize the day
What happens to the time in which you’re hoping one phase of life will come to an end and another begin? To the time when you’re counting down to the weekend, or your child’s next birthday, your vacation, or the end of the pandemic? According to Wikipedia, “Limbo is the edge or boundary of hell where those who die in original sin without being assigned to the hell of the damned reside.” To me, limbo is an uncertain situation that you cannot control and in which there is no progress or improvement or a state of uncertainty.
Sometimes an in-between life is created by circumstances beyond your control. An illness such as cancer can make you feel as though your life is on pause while you go through months of treatment, and few people have gotten through the COVID pandemic without feeling as if they’d been corralled into a waiting room, where they had to sit out the pandemic until normal service - work, business, vacations, socializing, school - could be resumed. For some this would have been much more restrictive than for others. People living alone and having to quarantine might indeed have thought themselves living on the boundaries of hell.
At other times, though, limbo is an emotional state, one that represents a dissatisfaction with one’s present situation and a hope that it will somehow prove to be temporary, coupled with a hope - pinned on something unspecified, uncertain, and even unknown - that something will happen at some point to transport you from your imperfect present to a perfect future.
Somehow, something, some point, someone. Often being in limbo makes you think in the abstract. You might not have even started looking for a new place to live, a new job or partner, yet you put your life on hold while you wait for them or that to arrive so that you can start living.
While you wait, you might decide that it’s not worth investing in your present - in the life you have. You might put off decorating, for instance, or getting to know your neighbors, because you’ll soon be moving on. Yet sometimes that move doesn’t happen and years will go by without you creating a home for yourself or becoming part of your local community. These thoughts and behaviors can trap you in the unconscious belief that the answer to finding contentment lies in external factors, which can prevent you from making the most of what you already have.
Beyond Limbo
Being in limbo can be a springboard to greater things in life. Change only happens when you take an active role. If you focus solely on tomorrow, then you can miss the good things happening here and now. Try to realize that you have some control and can make things happen for yourself. Remember that your “real” life is the one you are living, complete with good and bad moments. Don’t waste it waiting for things to happen. Rather do your best to make them happen.
What is it that you think you need to have the life you want? Quite possibly your vision includes a lot of external conditions, but try to look at things differently so that you don’t have to wait for something outside yourself to achieve your aims. Limbos don’t have to paralyze you. Take responsibility, take action. Be present. Don’t be an observer watching life pass you by, as if it were a train. Stop it in its tracks and jump on board. THat’s the only way you will reach your destination.
